As an actor, I learned the value of experimentation and resisting immediate interpretations of a script. This open-minded approach allowed me to explore deeper meanings and emotional layers in the text, especially through techniques like the Whelan tape. Working on the dynamic between Kali and Todd, I focused on understanding their conflicted version of love and how impulses shaped their intense push-and-pull relationship. Using Chekhov’s theory of atmosphere, we stylised key moments—like the dinner scene—by incorporating red fabric and puppetry to represent the psychological tension and cycles of abuse.
Throughout rehearsals, I paid close attention to emotional shifts and how change affects all characters on stage. We explored blame, denial, and survival instincts, helping me understand Kali’s psychological entrapment. Symbolic choices like lipstick and musical cues helped externalise her inner turmoil and growing desperation. The group explored how scenes like ‘Us’ reflected an outside perspective, acting as a haunting voice of suppressed truth, ultimately showing how entangled Kali and Todd are in their delusions of love.
At the beginning of the process, I found it difficult to delve deeply into Kali’s characteristics. This led me to research the complexities of Stockholm syndrome and how that can leave a victim with a fascinating justification for the alienation they are faced with. My director and I drew a character bug in one of the rehearsals for her character, we thought about her perspectives, humanity, flaws, and values. I concluded she values reinforced affection and reassurance; these objectives forced me to play when rehearsing and appreciate her fully. I started to think more about her intentions and consider Mitchell’s theories of trying ‘try to see through the surface detail of the words into the thoughts or desires that are motivating those words’ (2008, p.62), which brought a sense of Kali’s objective to life, to feel complete in a world where love and danger is exciting. Our director wanted us to execute this by playing with the beats of the script, creating that tonal shift for the most climactic moment of the scene, ‘Where was this?’ (Stockholm, 2007). I shook a shaker that grew increasingly rapid to show Kali’s frustration while also moulding when she attacked; these actions, we thought appeared to be a cyclical pattern of destruction, we had never seen this side of her before. Previously, our understanding of Kali was limited to her self-destructive tendencies. However, as we witnessed emotions guiding her from seduction, to remorse, we came to recognise that her weakness lies in her capacity for forgiveness and compassion toward Todd. In rehearsals, trying this melodramatically helped bring my character out, and on performance day the adrenaline evoked my commitment to certain choices and built my confidence.
Bibliography
Mitchell, K. (2008) The director’s craft: a handbook for the theatre. London: Routledge
Stockholm by B. Lavery (2007)